I'm sick. I'm exhausted and I have no brainpower or willpower left in my body. I've lost my voice, and that goes perfectly hand-in-hand with my total lack of social skills. But then, that's nothing new. I always perferred coffee and an honest conversation to shopping malls and floods of perfect look-alikes.

I am that shadow. That person that knows what is happening, sometimes even before it happens, but is unable to lift a goddamned finger to do anything about anything. Because in the end, things will run their course, and nobody ever really listens to the shadows anyway. People perfer to turn the lights on and chase them away, convincing themselves that nothing was ever there. It was just a shadow.

There are few things in life more painful than watching those you care about hurt themselves and those that are important and close to them.

I've been thinking and talking a lot about numerous things. Things that have been and I'm sure will continue to be consistent themes and struggles in my life. Acceptance and the way that and commitment relate to love and imperfection. There is so much beauty and honesty in true brokenness and imperfection.

Change and desparation. Those two words sum things up perfectly. Change is in the air; it's taking place. But it isn't a slow and gradual change. It's a desperate, jagged change that is leaving us on our knees in its wake, blinking in stunned drunken disbelief. Disbelief not necessarily at what's taken place, but that it actually happened. If that makes any round-about sense at all.